CHANGE YOUR LIFE

CHANGE YOUR LIFE

DAVE BRIDGEFORTH

​​I took the year 2021 off. I did not write one thing, give a speech, model in a photoshoot, I barely posted on social media, and I did not release a single issue of this magazine after a decade of faithfully communicating from this medium every season. I needed time to reset my palate, to affirm that my voice was still needed here and that my contribution in this form remains meaningful. I took a break because those who do not become stale, dulled, and burnt out -- losing their command of God within them.

GOD LOVES QUEER SEX

GOD LOVES QUEER SEX

DAVE BRIDGEFORTH

I have not the privilege of silence nor the luxury of puritanical ideology to cover my bare essential ass. In a culture that negates queer and trans bodies and their sexuality, expression, experience, and attraction --being a visible, black, gay man who is free, whole, and worthy makes it imperative for me to sound the siren in a jockstrap.

Does my sexiness upset you?

Does it come as a surprise?

That I dance like I've got diamonds

At the meeting of my thighs?

--Maya Angelou

BE LOUD AS FUCK

BE LOUD AS FUCK

DAVE BRIDGEFORTH

It isn't enough for us to be proud of who we are and from where we've come. At this point, it is expected of us considering how hard our ancestors fought for us to be able to live in acceptance of ourselves in all the glorious queerness we can muster.

I often think of James Baldwin and who he chose to be in the world of straight privileged folks —as a black gay man who had minimal advantage in some beliefs. If you asked James, he would say he hit the lottery. He walked with an air of importance. His opinion of himself as a queer person was louder than the spoken narrative of those like him. He embodied an audacity—a ballsy willingness to be all that his soul said he was despite any worldly evidence. One could argue, Baldwin thought he was better than his white heterosexual counterpart. In many ways, being gay was the fairy dust that made him remarkable, it was what qualified him as magical.

LOVE LETTER TO SELF

LOVE LETTER TO SELF

DAVE BRIDGEFORTH

I have come to the stern understanding that I am more gifted than this society has allowed me to believe and because of this, I must push myself in directions I fear. I must advance myself with courage for the systematic confines of this world are strict, and if I am not quick and gallant, I will arrive at ideas foreign to my authentic truth that will cause me to self destruct. For there has always been poison in the food, they have fed us.

Beyond the influence of this world, is my own shadow following me, urging me in opposite directions. The darkest part of me has been deemed my enemy, it appears in my way, always, and has plans to turn me against myself so that no one has to kill me because I've been taught how to do so on my own. And so I write this letter, a statement of my love for you, that you might be whole and free.

REINVENT FREEDOM

REINVENT FREEDOM

DAVE BRIDGEFORTH

I reserved the first of this year for me —a sabbatical of sorts to realign with the everlasting love that is all around me. I removed myself, I fasted, refrained from sharing myself with the world. The first month had disappeared seamlessly into my solitude, pleasantly, like a lingering orgasm, so personal and sweet. Nothing in me wanted to return back to what I once knew, to the noise that fills all of the spaces on earth or to the world’s constant violent tugging at the purity living within my own heart. I was in a consistent state of surrender; letting go of the ever urgent need for attachment. The need to let others know, the need to express myself to anyone, the need to look outward instead of inward.

FALL IN LOVE

FALL IN LOVE

DAVE BRIDGEFORTH

There is one thing that I've come to know that I wish I knew day one in this life experience. Most of us are born into this beautifully abundant world with false premises about our own lives. Many of us find ourselves under the weight of a multitude of sins, struggles, and baggage —so disconnected from the vibrant splendor that is at the center of every moment. I wish someone would have told me of my own heroism; that I was the ‘belle of the ball,’ that the Superman I would seek in life would be myself.

DADDY WARBUCKS

DADDY WARBUCKS

DAVE BRIDGEFORTH

As a kid my memories of my father were striking, I remember him clean cut in tailored suits always about business. Daddy had a gift that appeared as magic because as a kid I could only identify it as a feeling that was experienced when you were in his presence. He exuded an energy that excited you and his words brought you closer. As I grew up into the role of the son who bared my father's name I was met with my father’s reputation for it had proceeded him in our community. When people found out that I was Dave Jr. their faces would light up, kind of in the same way Daddy caused people to glow when he was in their presence. ​​​​​​​

WE ARE THE LEGENDARY CHILDREN - WAKE UP YOUR GOD POWER

WE ARE THE LEGENDARY CHILDREN - WAKE UP YOUR GOD POWER

DAVE BRIDGEFORTH

'There are journeys, and there are journeys that become legends.' 

I was just 15 years old when I met Les Brown. The world-renowned professional motivational speaker, best selling author, and television personality saw me in a room full of people. Not by chance, but because I, a minute black boy with big ears and curly brown hair was courageous enough to pursue is attention gracefully.  When I was able to hold Mr. Brown attention long enough, I conveyed to him that I wanted to be able to speak with greatness like him and was hungry to live my dreams although I wasn’t entirely sure what they were. At the time I was a youth minister at a modest church in the quaint city of Indianapolis, who was outspoken in my public high school and in my conservative community.

Les Brown became a chosen father to me all of my teenage years, he mentored me out of the limiting negative mindset that I had been conditioned to believe and live my life based on. He shifted my perspective about my gifts, talents, and abilities and enlarged my vision of myself.  He saw a special something within me that I wasn't able to see in myself. All of this because of one question he posed to me at 15, "What if you live your whole life and at the end of it you realized that it was all wrong?" This query shook me free because I was living my life based on what other folks believed to be right and I was prepared to dedicate my existence to their convictions, whether or not they resonated with me. 

I was 21 when I organized a meeting with Maya Angelou.

HOW TO HAVE YOUR CAKE & EAT IT TOO

HOW TO HAVE YOUR CAKE & EAT IT TOO

DAVE BRIDGEFORTH

On being naked. 

It’s liberating. I’ve waited a long time to get naked in front of the camera, spent the better part of my life afraid of being naked. Sheltered behind closed church doors, inundated with conservative ideology —ashamed of my bare brown skin to be exposed, I never featured my body growing up, I hid it. I’ve experienced enough judgement and shade from the holy to ever let someone catch me with my pants down. 

What began as my saved and sanctified mother putting her hands over my eyes lids every time nudity appeared on the movie or television screen or her confiscating my Playboy magazines hidden carefully under my mattress, ended up creating a negative, shameful, and unaffirming connotation about nudity, sexuality, and sex. The religious dogma stirred into my psyche most of my life caused me to hate myself, my body, and sexual urges and fantasies.

HOW TO EAT THE SUMMER - NOTES ON HOW TO LET YOUR LIFE SPEAK

HOW TO EAT THE SUMMER - NOTES ON HOW TO LET YOUR LIFE SPEAK

DAVE BRIDGEFORTH

As I arrive upon the last Summer of my 20s there are a few things that must be noted about what it takes to let your life speak.

When I was a child I didn’t think much of my future. The life I’ve been able to lead all of my 20s would be considered fiction for me as a kid. I was raised in the belief that Jesus was coming back in a rapture and we the remnant would be gone in a blink of an eye. Therefore I didn't indulge my mind in the pleasures of the world. My brother and I were raised under rumors of war —Momma reminded us daily that it was the last days and that the devil was out to sift us like wheat. So we read the book of Revelations daily during homeschool and that was our reality.

Let the narrative you entertain for your life, serve your greatness. 

I now believe that there is nothing but love for me in the universe. I tell myself stories of wonderment within my own life. And for Jesus to come back, would mean he left me and that he can not do. I am clear that no one, no devil, principalities, or powers are out to get me; I don’t run from, I leap into.  For if there is no enemy within an enemy outside can do me no harm. 

Be full of yourself; how empty of you to be full of anyone else.

Most of my 20s in publishing this magazine has been about the business of show.

BITTER BITCH - It's your secrets that make you sick

BITTER BITCH - It's your secrets that make you sick

DAVE BRIDGEFORTH

BITTER BITCH - IT'S YOUR SECRETS THAT MAKE YOU SICK

Before he walked out of my life, he said his only hope for me was that I become so great and powerful, such a success, that all the things he had done to break my heart, all the betrayals, lies, humiliations, all the pain he had caused would then mean nothing to me.  

I write because I know I am not alone. If my heart is stuck, there are tens of thousands stuck also. It then becomes my mission to navigate through these experiences, the community at my heels, with bated breath along for the ride. 

No one wants to be bitter, which is why most of us run from the idea and any slight accusation. We claim betterment in hopes to hide the down spiraling effect that takes place when someone you trusted enough to place your all on the line snatches the air from your lungs in an instant. When the knife that we never thought we would feel punctures our skin, into our flesh, tearing away at the wholeness we once knew, we many times are reduced to futures influenced by pain. 

A TOAST TO THE PAIN THAT MADE US POWERFUL

A TOAST TO THE PAIN THAT MADE US POWERFUL

DAVE BRIDGEFORTH

Let me tell you of what it means to be Loud. For one is only Loud out of necessity. One may need to be Loud because ones volume does not suffice. One also may need to be Loud to battle suppression from another.  Therefore one becomes Loud. 

In a world where we are oppressed because of the melanin-colored brush strokes layered on the canvas of our skin or the lack of respect for our sexual or gender expressions or diversities; we are only Loud out of courage for life has humbled most of us. 

ORGASM - A MANIFESTO FOR GROWN GAY MEN OF COLOR

ORGASM - A MANIFESTO FOR GROWN GAY MEN OF COLOR

DAVE BRIDGEFORTH

Something within me was mesmerized by something within him, and despite all my caution I understood him immensely. Whatever I found in him was special to me, Nirvana at best, and at best was often enough for nothing else to matter after him. We were on the run together on an adventure, and as long as we had each other there existed a fire, a love that would make us invincible against the world. For boys like us, there is not much we long for more than love and acceptance. 

WE THE PEOPLE ARE ORLANDO

DAVE BRIDGEFORTH

It has taken me four days and nights to locate the words to share what my soul is feeling. My spirit is disturbed at the insanity of the ways of our world. My heart is broken because I wear my gayness like I wear my blackness, boldly without apology; just as my straight white brother wears his. I know the pulse of the LGBT experience of color like I know the spelling of my full name. Forty-nine of our brothers and sisters were gunned down, another 53 are wounded, some gravely, and still some of us on this wayward planet are not phased by this atrocity. Way too many of us don’t care because no one died that we knew or loved, no one close enough to us for us to taste the bitter blood in our mouths, or feel the void in our lives. There are many of us who are disturbed but are lost as to what to do and send our condolences in sadness. Most of us are looking for someone to blame. We have our pitch forks pointed in fear at the Muslim community; we have fashioned our own mental bombs armed for retaliation at ISIS.